…Because when you’re mad at your girlfriend, you can’t mope or find comfort in your best friend. YOUR’E. MAD. AT. HER.
Pretty much lose, lose. -.-‘
Sometimes I feel like people are too naive or just plain stupid and can’t appreciate witty banter or on-point sarcasm.
It’s like, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were five and barely learned how to form a complete sentence.”
Next chapter of my life: The Weeknd.
Trust Issues / The Weeknd
What are you going to do now?
What happens when your guilt trips lose their touch?
What happens when your false tears lose effectiveness?
What happens when every little trick in the book you’ve got stops working?
Will you have something to say for yourself then?
I wouldn’t consider myself a misanthrope, but I am very antisocial. I’m not good with people, and I like to keep to myself so I don’t burden others.
I mean at the same time, I feel like I don’t really have anyone else to relinquish these feelings upon… or that I do, I just wouldn’t want to entrust them to anyone other than my own being anymore..
It’s remarkable and sad. Remarkably sad even, that the world is soooooo caught up with subconscious trickery and mind games. It’s astounding that no one can truly see their own intentions. Or maybe they do, just careless to admitt it. I read an article about how the human psychology is reprogrammable. We all have natural born “factory settings”. One of them, in layman’s terms, is that we can reconstruct any and every memory to make it so that we are the good guy. For example, two men get into a fight, but when the police show up to listen to both stories, both men had genuinely claimed the other had thrown the first punch. That would make one of them a liar, but to each of their cases, both genuinely believed they had not instigated the fight. Another example, a person lying directly to your face, in their defense finds any means necessary to be upset/mad in retaliation like a misinterpreted post to justify their folly that they are not in the wrong. Weird, huh?
It’s also weird how apologizing has lost most, if not, all of its meaning. Do/did sincere apologies ever exist? Maybe at one point in history, but nowadays I think it has gained a new meaning. It’s more of a pleasantry. Just a word to try and sympathize and allow for gratitude, so that things can suddenly continue like nothing was wrong, or at least that’s what is expected. The words are easily muttered and put together, so as soon as a common mistake or so is put into play, a meaningless “sorry” can somehow aid into making the user less guilty. To be able to relinquish whatever they had done, and start a clean slate, while having learned nothing and probably to carry on doing so as they already have.
but let’s get down to the butt of it here. I have trust issues. I do. I’m highly paranoid, which makes me very aware of most of my surroundings. I like being comfortable, even though in reality I never really am, but that’s another subject. But think about it… Justifying my paranoia and proving me right doesn’t really aid in your cause for this battle whatsoever. I mean not only does it fuel the huge ego of this fear I carry, but it only creates more doubt that everything else is likely to be a lie. It only opens doors to thinking that everything your saying can completely be false, due to the fact that your charming little performance felt genuine, but lacked honesty. Therefore, how genuine might everything else be? And sure I might be overreacting, but from a logical point of view it only makes sense. To lie over something so minuscule for fear that I would be upset, only makes me wonder what if it was something not so minuscule… And to think that I wouldn’t be that much more upset to catch you in a lie?…I can try and try and try to reprogram this nasty habit of mine, but it all goes to waste when I’m proven correct about my suspicions. So how can you sit there and rhetorically ask me if I’m ever going to trust you?
Is it weird that I hesitated to write this? I honestly did. It was actually in fear that it would cause an argument, be used against me, or something of the sort. Then I realized it doesn’t matter… It really doesn’t. I’m prepared to have my words misinterpreted, twisted and churned into knives, and placed in my heart. It’s what is probably gonna happen because everything is just metaphorically war. Civilized discussion, honest treaties, and genuine peace don’t exist anymore. It’s about war. It’s about winning the fight and having to be right, which I could really give two fucks about. I’m honestly tired of being right, so be my guest and do what you will… These words of mine, use them as your bullets, and hold that gun right to my head and pull that trigger. I don’t care to fight another day because there is no just cause anymore..
So declare war amongst my wall’s banners. Rampage and rummage my city of a soul. Take whatever it is you please, but I can assure you, there isn’t much left.
I guess I should try sleeping or something of the norm.
- Ceasar John.
Say the wrong thing and wrong girls come running.
I’m paranoid that these girls want something from me.
And it’s hard to make a dime go one hundred..